His Smile

It popped into her head the moment she got the text. She could see the photograph in her mind before she even realized she was thinking. The unexpected news marched through her mind and across the face she wouldn't see again. But how could that be? He wasn't supposed to be gone. He had always been there: so unmovable and strong in her mind's eye. He had been there to help hold the wheel steady as she piloted the boat for the first time. To tug on her pigtails. To tease. The skin around his eyes would crinkle and his eyes would soften making her feel like the most special girl in the world.

She realized with a jolt that she was still standing at the foot of the stairs, phone in hand; the dreadful words still glowing in her tear blurred vision. The stairwell was almost silent, muffled giggles and scurrying feet betrayed the presence of her music fraternity sisters preparing for initiation on the other side of the door. Why now? Why tonight? With a shaky breath, she wiped away the tears leaking from her eyes. Her parents had told her to stay where she was. She could help anyway. Collecting her thoughts and building an emotional wall she prepared to return to the preparations. She just had to make it through the night, then she could process what had happened. She could be brave...she pushed the door open and walked back into the bustling room but didn't get very far before her painfully held back tears betrayed her. One of her sisters caught her in a fierce hug, and dragged her back into the stairwell to find out what was wrong. Taken off guard by her sister's actions, her wall broke like a dam and the sobbed explanation gushed out.

"My grandpa," she choked, "...the hospital...he collapsed...they don't think he made it." she shook as she lost the ability to speak. Her sister scurried away to find her a glass of water, only to be replaced by another who simply sat quietly and held her hand as she cried.

Finally convinced to leave the initiation by her concerned sisters, she was driven home. The house was still, except for her cat who scampered up to wind around her ankles as she dragged herself up the stairs. She wanted to see it. She knew she had it. That photograph. She dug through the assortment of school assignments and knick knacks on her desk that she had been meaning to organize for months until she found her photo album. She opened it and was taken aback to find that the picture she wanted was the first page - she had forgotten she put it there. He was smiling. It was a rare photographic occasion. She smiled back for a moment, then sank to the ground sobbing, clutching the photo to her chest. Holding tightly to her last reminder of his smile.